Written as if by your fictional columnist — let’s call her Mabel Crumb — who narrates local oddities like she’s solving crimes on PBS. (“Someone’s been letting their cat roam. Again. The evidence? Paw prints, judgment, and one mysteriously missing garden gnome.”)→...

Observational humor with faux seriousness — like you’re writing a safety manual for chaos. Include diagrams, sarcastic “local rules” (“The person with the largest SUV apparently has right of way”), and anecdotes about first-time drivers who never made it out.→ Tone:...